My worse fear became reality
A LITTLE over two weeks ago one of my worst fears became a reality when my significant other found out about the financial monster that I have created.
As much as I would like to say that I came clean of my own accord, I can’t. I was under the misguided impression that I could fix the mess I created without anyone ever finding out about it.
I spent many years covering my tracks, hiding credit cards and bank statements and lying about everything money related. My web of lies and deceit finally caught up with me and I got found out.
I won’t bore you with the gruesome details, but I will tell you that the last few weeks have been incredibly difficult. I feel as though I have truly reached rock bottom and I don’t think things could get any worse.
Not only am I now dealing with the financial mess I have created but also, with the likelihood that my relationship of 20-plus years is over and with that fact that I have severely compromised my family’s financial security.
Finally, I have come to realise the full extent of what I have done. Over time, I will be able to repay my debt but I doubt that I will ever be able repair the damage I have done.
On a brighter note, I have been shortlisted for a great job. It won’t pay nearly as much as what I was earning in my last position but, at least, I will be working and most importantly, earning again.
Working again also means that I will be able to have something concrete to offer the banks and I am hoping that they will be more prepared to negotiate with me even though I am earning less money.
With cashy’s help, I’ve also had good news from one of major creditors and am meeting with them in the next few days to try and work out a way forward.
Despite feeling very guilty, stressed and sad about the current state of affairs I am also feeling an enormous sense of relief that the truth is out. While I am still facing a huge mountain of debt I am no longer trapped in a web of lies and deceit and I am starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.
My resolve to fix the mess I have created is stronger than ever. Resolution means that I may just be able to redeem myself a little.
Pic credit: Graeme Weatherston/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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